MBecause Kid Pix is bored, the tiny little brain is sucking the toxic binary of the internet. The internet has rotted my brain – so let me take you on a journey into the mysterious and disturbing world of the 26-year-old comedian’s internet history.
1. The count was censored
We start our journey with a classic; a video that has been near and dear to me since I saw it in high school. I don’t know how I first came across this edit of The Count of Seasame Street doing obscene things to his candles and spider webs, but it’s firmly in the top 10 funniest things I’ve ever seen. While some may consider it infantile, it will never put you in a better mood. It’s also a very catchy song that can get stuck in your head. PROCEED WITH CARE.
2. Jones’ Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage Facility
We continue our journey through the Internet and reach the area called “videos I can’t stop quoting”. My roommate and dear friend Matt also got poisoned by consuming too much internet before he developed a frontal lobe, and we spend most of our days in our two bedroom apartment quoting incoherent lines from funny internet videos. “JONES BIG ASS TRUCK RENTAL AND STORAGE FACILITY” is one of those quotes. Anyway, enough about my mental illness. Ramiro Castro Jr. stars Toby Jones in these spoof commercials that always make me laugh (see Jones’ BBQ and Foot Massage for more content).
3. France is Bacon
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When I have some free time to spare from staring at my wall waiting for the phone to ring, I’ve been known to do a healthy scroll on TikTok if I can write a list and gain a few more Instagram followers. There’s a certain brand of entertainment that involves reading stories from Reddit with a robotic voice while watching Minecraft. This video is my favorite, but I highly recommend going down one of these rabbit holes the next time you’re suffering from a depressive episode.
4. Philomena Cunk
Great British comedienne Diane Morgan plays Philomena Cunk, a crazy character and ridiculously clueless documentarian. He interviews historians and asks REAL important questions. I can’t sit straight watching these videos. He is phenomenal! I found his clips on TikTok, but most of the full episodes of Junk on Earth and Junk on Britain are on YouTube.
5. John Robles
Your annoying housemate pic.twitter.com/e7j7n6EoRo
— John Robles (@TheJohnRobles) June 18, 2020
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Now we’ve reached the part of the internet journey where I unashamedly love my friends. I think John is one of the funniest guys out there and I’m not biased just because he’s a dear friend of mine.
He has some videos on Twitter, but if you ever get a chance to see him perform, go do it. He’s got this crazy irreverent charm that NOBODY can replicate NOBODY I’ve said. He will be a star one day, I can feel it in my tired little bones.
6. Sam Campbell
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The list of funny things on the Internet is not complete with the Cambo clip. Sam is adored by almost every comedian and has appeared on these lists several times, but I couldn’t resist adding my personal favorite: a tribute to our late Queen Elizabeth II, filmed at a comedy club in London. It’s a crime that this guy doesn’t have his own TV show.
7. Big Iron
A journey into my internet algorithm isn’t complete until I show you a funny video of an animal. I’m famous for liking videos of “small children” (animals). This 15 second video is something I would show my parents and they would look at me like I just took something big off their front porch. I understand, the internet is not for everyone. I’m sorry if you don’t understand why this video is funny but you’re old 🙁
8. This dog stands up in the water
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Another little boy.
9. This dog eats ham
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This little guy is so much fun to quote.
10. The end of Meet Joe Black
Well, guess what? We have come to the end of our fantastic journey! Do we feel more stupid? Good. I saved the best for last with this scene from 1998’s Meet Joe Black. I can’t believe this is a real moment in a movie that made $140 million at the box office. I have never seen this movie and I don’t want to because I don’t want my favorite clip to be tarnished on the internet. Just trust me on this one. See it. Thank you, I love you, thank you 😊