People often choose partners based on their attractiveness. Whether it’s the color of their eyes or their care for the elderly, every person has characteristics that others find attractive. Equally important, we all have flaws and weaknesses. That’s why it’s important to evaluate both sides of the coin when searching eternal happiness.
Celebrity personal trainer, writer and content creator David De Las Morenas and his wife Julia discussed the less romanticized characteristics of a partner on TikTok. In a video that has gone viral, they share their thoughts on three things they see as red flags in women and expand on how it can affect a couple’s relationship. After attracting more than 700k views, the video created a buzz on the internet and people fell into two camps about it.
In a video that went viral, TikTokers listed three things they consider red flags in women
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“Number One: He Doesn’t Thank You or Show Any Appreciation”
Photo credit: Vlada Karpovic (not actual photo)
“If you’re dating a girl and she never says thank you or just says she appreciates you when you pay the bill, you should move on. He will not change, and then you will be offended by him.
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“Number Two: She Has Male Friends”
“Except for some very rare scenarios where a guy and a girl are talking, it’s not platonic.”
Photo credit: Helena Lopes (not original photo)
“And even if he’s not interested in her, she’s probably interested in him, and he likes having that validation. The thing is, if a girl has male friends that she sees regularly or just texts with, that’s the type of girl who always keeps one foot out the door in a relationship.”
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“Number Three: He Manipulates You in Little Ways”
“If you’ve already dated a girl a few times and she’s still going to continue dating, but she’ll literally never text you first, she’s trying to force and keep that dynamic where you are. will haunt him forever.”
Image credit: Andrea Piacquadio (not actual image)
“When she uses the line ‘boys I’ve seen in the past would never do that,’ she makes you feel bad for the boundary you’re trying to set with her by talking about the boys she’s seen in the past. He’s trying to make you jealous.”
Here is the full video that went viral
@howtobeast 3 low key RED FLAGS in women… 🚩 #dating #datingforguys #messaging #datingtips ♬ original sound by David de las Morenas
Each individual has a number of traits, some of which are not harmful, but can be inconvenient, especially when it comes to relationships. Such characteristics can cause difficulties in forming relationships, trying to live together or building trust. Most likely, this is the reason why they are compared to a red flag – a bright and noticeable warning sign.
We discussed this topic with certified love life strategist, dating and relationship expert-Lisa Concepcion. When talking about how red flags change our perception of a potential partner, she expanded: “When a person sees red flags, it makes them pay attention to things that might cause problems. For example, if a woman is drunk on a date or a man explodes in anger while another driver is driving, these red flags can lead to the decision to end things, especially if they are deal breakers.”
“Someone who grew up with an alcoholic parent can see binge drinking as a very important red flag. Red flags are related to our boundaries and standards. We need them to keep ourselves safe,” Lisa added.
The importance of disturbing attributes varies from person to person. For some, a red flag might be something as simple as not doing the dishes right after dinner. On the other hand, others may be unaware of any wrongdoing until they are in actual danger. In any case, such features can determine the end of the relationship, so it is necessary to think in advance.
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Lisa told Bored Panda, “It’s important for people to be very clear about what they want in a relationship and what they won’t tolerate before they get into a relationship. It’s great to clarify what the red flags are. For some people, a red flag is a messy car, a messy house. “Red flags vary from person to person, but they should never be ignored.”
A study of possible dealings among American students identified the following six characteristics as major red flags: rude, dependent, clingy, wayward, apathetic, and unenthusiastic. This proves that in most cases these need not be substantial atrocities; sometimes a red flag can be something as random as bad behavior or a clingy nature.
Similar, almost trivial, everyday events were discussed in David De Las Morenas’s TikTok video. He is a well-known personal trainer and author of books on mindfulness and healthy living. He is also the creator of www.HowToBeast.com, a website dedicated to helping men work on their physical and mental health.
The first red flag pointed out in David’s viral video—not expressing gratitude often—may not seem like a big problem at first; however, according to the video, it can end up causing resentment. This bitter situation, as stated in Psychology Today, can remove the compassion that is the bloodline of the relationship. Sometimes a lack of compassion can lead to indifference—one of the aforementioned six red flags in interpersonal communication.
The topic sparked a heated debate, with some people agreeing with TikTokers
According to David, the second red flag is that women have friends of the opposite sex. In terms of seeking approval and the attention of male friends, this somewhat ordinary situation does not create a solid foundation for a faithful relationship and allows the girl to feel that she is half way at any time.
A survey conducted in Great Britain showed that only 6% of respondents agreed with a similar statement. The vast majority of them (84%) say that platonic friendship is possible between heterosexual women and men. This shows that red flags are a very subjective matter and opinions may vary based on personal experiences or perspectives. The third red flag discussed in David’s video — small-scale manipulation — is likely to cause less division, since most people usually expect to be treated fairly in any relationship.
People on the other side also shared their thoughts
Dating expert Lisa Concepcion emphasized the importance of being fair to yourself. She shared her advice for people who are starting to see red flags in their partner: “Respect yourself. You want what you want for a reason. Red flags should never be ignored. When you see a red flag and mention it to the other person, they may try to make excuses. Watch their actions. If you point out that excessive drinking is a red flag and they stop drinking, then you’ve had a positive effect on them. But…if they have a drinking problem, you probably won’t be able to change the behavior and it’s best to end the relationship.”